Earthquake Appeal

[DBJTS]

An earthquake measuring 5.7 on the Richter scale hit Moss Side last Wednesday morning.

The epicenter for the disaster was the residential area of Plainsfield street.

Casualties were seen wandering around aimlessly uttering “bang out

Of order, mental and sorted”. The earthquake decimated this tranquil area

Causing damage said to be in excess of £17.55. Several priceless

Collections of ‘object d’art’ and mementoes from Ibiza and Corfu were

Damaged beyond repair. Three preservation sites of historical importance

(Formerly used as storage for burnt out cars) were totally destroyed also.

Many of the locals were taken unawares by the disaster as they were awoken

Before their Giro’s arrived.



One local resident, Kylie Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of four said,”

It was such a f**kin’ shock, I wondered what the f**k was happening,

Little Chardonnay, Destiny and Brooklyn came running into my bedroom; my

Hands were shaking so much I could hardly skin up".



The British Red Cross has so far managed to send in 4000 crates of Sunny

Delight to the area to aid the crisis; unfortunately looters hijacked the

Wagon when it entered the area. Rescue work is on going and workers are

Still searching through the rubble in the hope of recovering some of the

Elizabeth Duke sovereign rings, benefit books and Pound stretcher ornaments

Said to have been lost in the devastation.



WE NEED YOUR HELP



This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing for those

Unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most

Sought after and there is an urgent need for Carlotti tracksuits, Burberry

Caps, Beanie hats, and Reebok Trainers. Food parcels are also required with

Importance on the staples, McCain oven chips, Aldi Baked beans, Monster

Munch and Iceland Pizza’s. Alcohol is also in short supply especially White

Lightening cider and Carlsberg Special Brew.



Cash donations are also welcome, 22p buys a signing on Biro, £2.50 buys

Jumbo sausage and chips, £20.00 buys a bent MOT and £16.00 will get you 200

Embassy Regal from the back of Tommo’s van



YOUR HELP IS MUCH APPRECIATED. PLEASE GIVE WHAT YOU CAN