Who is Jack Schitt?

[keener]

>For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find
>ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well,
>thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
>Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
>magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had
>one son, Jack.
>In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
>produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
>Schitt,
>and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
>Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
>school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
>Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living
>with
>them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe
>Schitt
>Sherlock.
>Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
>rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
>children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
>childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
>The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
>nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
>Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
>returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
>
>Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
>Sincerely,
>Crock O. Schitt

[uSe]

that was funny, but was a fair amount of effort to read... though that could just be the mood i am in at the moment!